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Raise your hand if you’ve asked yourself why you were made the parent of a child with Down syndrome (or any child with special needs, for that matter.) I have asked myself that question a few times since Lily was born. There’s got to be a reason. It has occurred to me that up until about a year ago I still felt like I hadn’t become what I was supposed to be “when I grew up.” I have had many jobs in my life; I’ve tried lots of different things to feel fulfilled. Still, it is only recently that I feel like I have a real purpose. Lily is almost four years old now and it’s become clear to me that she is destined to be a star. I know, I know. I’m her mom; of course I would say that. I am serious though; she is one of the souls that moves through this world and makes a difference in people’s lives every day. I see it all the time. When we go to the grocery store and I am trying to find bananas that are just right for eating tomorrow. Inevitably, someone is quietly watching us while Lily is saying, “Mom, let me do it, let me do it.” She wants to choose the ones that will go into the bag. I try to remember that every exercise and experience is an education for her. At the same time, it is an education for those who watch her in the store, at the pool, at the library, at the service station while we get the car’s oil changed. Those who know a child with Down syndrome know the delights they behold. Those who don’t, I think, are amazed at the intelligence and charm our children have. Quite awhile back I found a quote in some article I was reading. The quote is from an unknown source and reads, “Inclusion of children with special needs in all environments in which typical children participate is critical to their development and achievement of their potential.” I clipped it out and taped it onto our refrigerator along with all the other magnetic collectibles, artwork, and photos that live there. I wish I knew who wrote it, because I would like to thank that person for giving me such a practical philosophy to live by. How could I make that “inclusion” happen for Lily? She is in a segregated special education class and unfortunately with the way the system currently works, that is where she will remain for the time being. That’s when I got the inspiration to start Buddy Play. I felt like someone lit a fire under me, that I had to hurry up and give Lily something more to help her reach higher. People put playgroups together all the time; why not start one myself that would provide more opportunity for role-modeling? After all the time I had spent volunteering in Lily’s classes, I realized I had learned a thing or two about incorporating various therapies into fun, kid-friendly activities. Yes, I was definitely inspired. I think everyone would be lucky to have someone in their lives that inspired them the way Lily inspires me. She is the reason I started Buddy Play, a playgroup for children with special needs and their typically developing peers. Buddy Play offers themed playgroups that provide activities to promote exercise in developmental skills. Since October 2007, I have been coordinating the playgroups and inviting all children with or without special needs to participate. Our first Buddy Play was a play dough party in the park. There was a mix of kids with special needs and typically developing kids that spent the afternoon together playing harmoniously with the colorful dough. That day was the first of many fun and rewarding experiences that have continued whenever our group meets. We have read stories to each other, decorated Christmas cookies, created snowflake art, been tattooed together, crafted old-fashioned Valentines, made pizza, and arranged beautiful Spring flowers, just to mention a few activities. Along the way, the kids have learned some American Sign Language they may not have used before, sung some songs with a great music therapist, Nicole Patton, and made new friendships to last for years to come. I love to see the kids help and support each other as they interact. Sometimes the typical children, (what I call the TD kids) will ask a question about one of the kids with special needs. It’s always a great opportunity to let them know that some of the kids have different abilities and may need some extra help, but are basically there to have fun just like them. Some of the parents have told me that they appreciate having a social group where their kids are safe, accepted, and their wide range of abilities is considered and accommodated. The kids with special needs have received help and role-modeling from our TD kids, while our TD kids have learned empathy and how to be a good “buddy” to their peers with special needs. As for the parents, I think they have enjoyed watching all that happens at Buddy Play just as much as I have. I always leave with a very gratified feeling, and a brain churning with new ideas for future groups. Now, let me say, that as with most movements and ideas, Buddy Play has only grown and been successful with help coming from all directions. Martha Hogan offered the classroom at Down Syndrome Connection for one of our meeting places, Kathryn Valdez from the Hope Center offered another. Several of the mothers who bring their children on a regular basis have been an enormous help. They have taken turns bringing snacks for the kids, vacuumed up after we’ve made a mess, or helped to do an activity. Many people answered the call when my own mother did some secret fund-raising without my knowledge. Apparently there are a lot of guardian angels who have high hopes for Buddy Play and want to help make it a success! It has taken on a life of its own. So…..now when I ask why I was made the mother of a child with Down syndrome, I have an answer for myself. It’s to do what I can for Lily and all the other kids that come to Buddy Play. I love them. I want to be around them. They inspire me more than anything ever has before! |